After a four day respite, I had forgotten how to be a student. I carried the same books around all day (AP Euro study guide, the Believer, small commonplace book, green folder) and things just seemed especially awful. I declared JF an actual douchebag at the end of the day, a description that really doesn't fit him but seemed appropriate as he moved his things from his mother's car into his ugly, obnoxious copycat convertible. Mrs. M was especially threatening with my long overdue library fine. "J.U.G. if it's not in by sixth period." Walking out of school, shortly after seeing JF actually, I realized I hadn't yet paid it. I hope I don't now have a demerit. In American Government, Mr. S wasn't here, giving the incorrigibly bothersome populous free reign. There are several kids whose names I do not even know that never cease to annoy. WC who was especially flamboyant and ignorant; LR got on my last nerves in one-eighth the time (why the fuck does he feel the need to show me his Ray Bans every time we pass? Stop trying to please; we are equals.); DB was even more unshaven and BH, thankfully, was absent or else I may have been forced to put the digital (as in my fingers) gun to my head. Mrs. D heaped praise which I do not deserve seeing as I have not turned in any assignments due in the last two weeks (at least). Mr. L was undeservedly more fucking militant today and that got me more worked up than anything else. Within three minutes I hollered at the class: "Stop badgering me!" Mere miliseconds before he chimed in with his patent whine/yelp: "Gallagher, you're just so bitter these days." I proceeded to shut my mouth for the next 49 minutes and it felt good.
Sometimes I think I should shut my mouth more. Sometimes I think I should block it all out so I don't end up, not on purpose, putting myself on a level higher than everyone else. I feel like such a reluctant snob sometimes but in a school filled with truly unsophisticated boys that really do believe women should not vote because they get moodswings and protest with all the fervor of a football game the reading of Plath and Dickinson, put their (or more accurately, their parents) money first to car stereos and exhaust systems, blissfully declare their school the best the area has to offer, go to the library to talk, wear school paraphernalia on the weekends.... can I really be blamed? It's hard out there for a kid who has recently taken to reading a magazine that doesn't have interesting pictures in it. I don't go to lunch anymore.
Wow I feel like a snob. I took the weight off today by going outside:
I didn't mention I got your average haircut (courtesey of Fragale Brothers (for life)) and an awful breakout on my forhead!
On like, positive notes though, in addition to going outside:
Matt and Anna are both going to Temple so the familiarity factor in collegiate Philadelphia is gonna be super high!
Groups of friends can now hang outside!
House show!
A great spring playlist I will blog at length about tomorrow!
Current listening has been nothing too new, though I'm gonna love the new No Age... I'm trying to get the physical thing:
Sleater-Kinney (winding down)
The Rolling Stones-Sticky Fingers
Massive Attack-Mezzanine
Air-Moon Safari
Bikini Kill-Reject All American
X Ray Spex-Germ Free Adolescents
An old Kinks greatest hits I have on wax
Beatles-Rubber Soul
Winding down, it's much too late Love
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